Friday, November 28, 2008

Elk Camp 08

Part one
Elk hunting just finished up for us bow hunters, so I thought I’d give you a rare glimpse into the mind of a true outdoorsman, a master in the art of the hunt, a stalker like no other, yes I’ve been called all of the above,,, and idiot, dork, and moron, but I prefer
“ Elk Whisperer”
To become a master Elk Whisperer/hunter one must first act like an Elk in order to get close enough to whisper to it. I tried many tactics in this endeavor, but none work better
than the old cow suit (Female Elk) stripper pole trick. Oh yeah!!! At first they ran away, but when I added the smooth jazzy sounds of the wal-mart cow calling double CD set pumped out in digital stereo, in surround sound through out the meadow. They came a running back with dollar bill s all up in their grill (teeth.) Yeah I have to admit I was a little nervous at first, but then they all started fighting over me and I was quite honored. My plan was working great until a big bull came in to hit on me. I thought, now’s my chance to try to whisper to the bull. He came up strutting and said “EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeerrreeeeee!”
and I said “What?”
And He said “EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (and then it started to make since) rrrrrrreeeeee”
“Hey baby what’z up!”
I blushed and fanned my face with my muddy hoof. “Nothin hee hee hee!”
We were communicating !!! I was so excited from this break trough that I jumped up
On the pole flipped upside down and spun down the ground in a split! Drove the Elk
Crazy!!! Then just as I felt like the hottest girl in the woods. I hear Mill’s voice on the radio. “Warren come in Warren, kill any thing yet?” After a few awkward seconds the Elk lunged forward and I yelled out “wait, wait, wait !!! Okay I’m not a cow, I’m a hunter, “No, I mean, I come in peace” ( as my bow and arrow tumble out of my suit.) I just came out here to whisper to you.
Yeah so that was as close to having a shot at them as I got so far.
Tomorrow I will try the stalk method.

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