Friday, November 28, 2008

Elk hunt 08 part three

Part Three “Vision quest”
You know my grand father used to tell me that our Cherokee ancestors used to have a little thing they did when the needed to get away and clear their heads, find answers to hard questions or just get away from a nagging spouse. They called it a vision quest.
You know I think that’s what I’m going to call this whole being out here in the cold, with no sleeping bag, food , or water. I mean lost sounds so negative doesn’t it? I mean if I ever see Jeff or Mike again I’ll say “I went on a vision quest” that sound a heck of a lot better than. Uh yeah, I was cold so I went for a little drive in the jeep, fell asleep at the wheel and drove off the map! I think they might buy the quest thing. Anyway if you’ve known me longer than five minutes you know nothing evolving me goes as planned. I am a complex and somewhat strange dude, but besides that there are secret dark hidden forces that conspire against me to make it appear that I don’t know what I’m doing. Anyways to try and understand me would not only waist your time
But could quite possibly burn up some brain cells. Besides isn’t this more fun? Traditionally the Indian brave would smoke
Some kind of weed and maybe down a few shrooms to kind of kick start his journey to enlightenment, but since that has been deemed illegal and unhealthy I will have to resort
Improvise with a shot of JD and ah let’s see what else we have laying around in the old jeep. Ah ha ”Power bait” should do the trick. No I’m not going to smoke power bait! What do you think I’m stupid or something? You need a pipe for that! No this is more modern method of jump-starting a journey. Here goes nothing, Uh,,, oily crap !!! This stuff is nasty and the JD don’t help none either. Wow that was fa---st, I –am—seeing visions already, it’s , it’s Babs and he’s surrounded by huge trophy Elk! There is a least forty-five of them. They are just jumping all around playing musical stumps or something. One is even licking his face. He is whispering something to that cow! “If you see a tall guy stumbling around in the woods charge him just for fun you’ll get a real kick out of it!” Shoot them Mike! Shoot them! Wait just one second; this is my vision quest, What da …heck? No!!! I don’t like this journey! I wanta wake up! Did I put the jeep in park? Crap who knows where I’ll end up in the morning!

Even though the Elk won the battle this year I had a great time hunting them. Of course it would have been better had I not gotten lost and failed to meet up with my hunting partners, but just knowing that they knew what part of Colorado I was in and could pass that information on the my friends at search & rescue was a great relief. If you ever get the chance to hunt, fish or just hang out with Jeff & Mike jump all over it. Good people
those two. Thanks for putting up with me. I look forward to many more hunts.

Elk hunt 08 part two

Elk Camp 08

Part one
Elk hunting just finished up for us bow hunters, so I thought I’d give you a rare glimpse into the mind of a true outdoorsman, a master in the art of the hunt, a stalker like no other, yes I’ve been called all of the above,,, and idiot, dork, and moron, but I prefer
“ Elk Whisperer”
To become a master Elk Whisperer/hunter one must first act like an Elk in order to get close enough to whisper to it. I tried many tactics in this endeavor, but none work better
than the old cow suit (Female Elk) stripper pole trick. Oh yeah!!! At first they ran away, but when I added the smooth jazzy sounds of the wal-mart cow calling double CD set pumped out in digital stereo, in surround sound through out the meadow. They came a running back with dollar bill s all up in their grill (teeth.) Yeah I have to admit I was a little nervous at first, but then they all started fighting over me and I was quite honored. My plan was working great until a big bull came in to hit on me. I thought, now’s my chance to try to whisper to the bull. He came up strutting and said “EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeerrreeeeee!”
and I said “What?”
And He said “EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (and then it started to make since) rrrrrrreeeeee”
“Hey baby what’z up!”
I blushed and fanned my face with my muddy hoof. “Nothin hee hee hee!”
We were communicating !!! I was so excited from this break trough that I jumped up
On the pole flipped upside down and spun down the ground in a split! Drove the Elk
Crazy!!! Then just as I felt like the hottest girl in the woods. I hear Mill’s voice on the radio. “Warren come in Warren, kill any thing yet?” After a few awkward seconds the Elk lunged forward and I yelled out “wait, wait, wait !!! Okay I’m not a cow, I’m a hunter, “No, I mean, I come in peace” ( as my bow and arrow tumble out of my suit.) I just came out here to whisper to you.
Yeah so that was as close to having a shot at them as I got so far.
Tomorrow I will try the stalk method.